Die Abeetis

When I was a kid, Aunt Beatrice, my Mom’s sister, regularly came to visit us. We thought she was a pest. She never had children of her own, so she didn’t know what to do with kids. When I played with my sister, we made a lot of noise and she would tell us to shut up or else. Never did find out what the ‘or else’ was. I always left the room before she could show me.

She told me I was a nuisance because I asked lots of questions. Being single and never having kids, she wasn’t used to being asked lots of questions. It bothered her a lot. I had some pennies in my pocket that were old and had lost their shine, so took them out and handed them to her (figured she didn’t like new cents, so I’d give her some old ones).

She loved wearing dresses and blouses with loud colors. I guess we called her Abeetis because #1. She wore red all the time and she was kind of fat and her round stomach made her look like a beet, and #2. I couldn’t pronounce her name very well. My little sister and I were out playing one day, and she whispered to me, “I hate aunt ‘Beetis! Wish she’d stop boddering us and leave us alone.

The next afternoon we were in the house playing tag right close to our Auntie, and she asked us to go out to the mailbox and see if there was any mail in it for her. (We didn’t know it then, but she had already gone out and picked up the mail). We were obedient (and a little dumb we found out afterwards), and went out and checked and there was nothing. Being devious and conniving (I just looked those words up) she locked the door on us right after we left. When we tried to get back in and saw that she’d locked the door on us, we started playing Ring around the Rosie and changed the words to new ones that my little sister made up. ‘Ring around the Rosie’ was changed to ‘Die Abeetis Die’; and as little kids we hoped she would, and then she wouldn’t bother us any more. Being young, we didn’t understand the impact our words had, because a little later on she did die and didn’t bother us any more.

A few years ago, I had an annoying sore on my right arm which bothered me a lot. I neglected it, and didn’t do any thing about it for a long time. I finally decided to go to the doctor and let him look at it. The doc gave me a thorough examination and discovered I had a pre-diabetic condition…something that could lead to diabetes if I didn’t take care of it. He prescribed a special diet which included lots of natural foods, fruits and green leafy vegetables, and completely void of sugar. After the doctor laid the ‘D’ word on me, I began to tremble as I thought of its implications. A friend of mine recently had a leg and 3 fingers amputated because of diabetes, and then he died not too long after. The doctors’ words scared me into action. Lose weight? You bet! Stay off sugar at the same time? Anything you say!

After the doctor revealed this to me, I felt the presence of my aunt Abeetis, and she was standing right next to me. She started singing Ring around the Rosie with the new words we had made up; and I swear this is true! “Die Abeetis (diabetes) die, die Abeetis die, huh?” How did she know ‘bout our playing Ring Around the Rosie? She wasn’t even there!

Addendum---Thinking of my auntie, I’ll turn to my friend, the poet Tom Robbins, to put the final touch on this section: “The beet is the most intense of vegetables. The radish, admittedly, is more feverish, but the fire of the radish is a cold fire, the fire of discontent, not of passion…There runs through tomatoes an undercurrent of frivolity. Beets are deadly serious”.

Addendum #2---I also had an Uncle Gus that used to play with me and my sister. He wasn’t like our auntie. We loved going over to his house to play. We climbed up in the big rubber tree that was in his front yard (we called it the ‘ol ‘R’ tree). After playing in it a few times, we brought over boards and sticks and built a tree house. The wood was heavy, mostly oak scraps. When it was finished, we added chairs, beds, a play stove, desks, even a kitchen sink. The tree was pretty cluttered up after we finished. Our Uncle Gus liked playing with us up there. We really had a lot of fun with him. One day we took our shoes off and played ‘catch’ up in the tree. I didn’t know it then, but Uncle Gus had problems with his feet. I threw the ball to him and when he caught it I pointed to him and said, “That’s fun Gus, that’s fun Gus!” He looked down at his feet, then grabbed the ball and said, ‘You’re right! I’m going to give it to you.” And he gave it to me and I caught it! When I got older I regretted those words.

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Uncle Gus died not too long after that. He went outside one day to sit in the shade under his tree. Because of the heavy tree house and all the other junk up there the main branch broke and fell on him and he died. I felt so bad that I had taken a part in his death. I helped put most of the heavy stuff up there. I still have a hard time living with myself because I contributed to Uncle Gus’ dying from a clogged ‘R’ tree. (think about it)