Ah Forget It

After talking with Mom, she called her sister and they decided to come see how I was doing. Neither of them liked to drive very much. But Mom’s uncle Malik Plazem and his wife Neeyo, a Hawaiian girl, both did. So Mom called and asked them if they would like to come visit too…and if they could pick my Mom and aunt Abeetis up on the way. They were elated! Some good friends of theirs… Lump Groat, & Reddy his wife (she had beautiful red hair…they called her ‘Redd’ for short) -- were visiting them and wanted to come along too. So the four of them took off and picked up my Mom and aunt on the way… then they all headed out together to come visit me. I wasn’t looking forward to a visit from so many people at one time, but ‘girded up my loins’, as Mama would say, and waited to welcome them.

Not too much later I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door and there was my sweet, adorable mother standing there. She gave me a hug and asked how I was doing. I had some gauze over the sore spot on the arm. She asked how it was, so I pulled it back to let her see. Then realizing that she had neglected to introduce me to the others, she stood back and said, “Son, you know your aunt Abeetis; this is my uncle Malik Plazem & his wife Neeyo and their friends, Lump & Redd Groat.” I greeted them and then we entered the living room.

I motioned for Mom and Abeetis to sit in the two soft chairs and then said to the others, “Why don’t you all have a seat on the couch.” I sat down on the couch first and made the mistake of resting my bad arm on one end before the others sat down. Not realizing that I laid my arm on the end of the couch, they were all anxious to sit on that spot, where there was a beautiful garden growing with lovely flowers right outside the window. Mom mentioned to me on the phone that she had told her uncle about my garden, because he had one that he was always busy working in. His neighbors had a nice garden growing too, but neither of them was as stunning as mine was.

Acting like little children they scrapped, “I dibs this spot!...I got that one…No, you sit at the end”. And they all plopped down before I could get my arm out of the way. My Mom was watching me as my face was all scrunched up while this happened. After they all sat down, she anxiously blurted out, “Son… (my Mom stuttered a little)…“you’ve got- uh – Malik & aunt Neeyo Plazem and – uh – Redd & Lumpy Groat on your arm. Take it easy you guys! Cut it out!” Well they felt pretty bad but didn’t cut it out ‘til the next day when I got to the doctor’s office. He also cleaned up a few minor blemishes on my face.

To hide the scar on the arm I wear a long-sleeved shirt. Can’t do anything with the face. I need a nose job too, but my wife says she loves me anyway.

Before leaving the dermatologist’s office, a follow up checkup was scheduled. My wife wouldn’t be able to come with me to that one. She is more than just my sweetheart and companion… she is also my hard-drive. My own hard drive crashed over 20 years ago in an auto accident. My monitor, printer and floppy drive are functional, but the memory in the HD is destroyed. What a byte, no?

I had a hard time remembering the route I took to the doctors’ office, and couldn’t remember his name. Years ago, I took a trip to a small country in Europe named Liechtenstein. I wrote it down here just as it appears in the Encyclopedia. I can’t remember how to spell it, and can’t pronounce it very well. I just remember the first letter. When I came back from my trip and my friends asked where I had gone, I just told them, “I’ve been to ‘L’ and back.”

My wife is well aware of my memory problems, so when we left the doctor’s office she tried to help me remember the next visit. “Honey, don’t forget, the appointment is at the dermatologist’s office, ok?” If I can remember that derm means skin, then I’ll know which doctor to go to.

I realize now why my Mom said over and over to my sisters: “Be modest! Don’t let your derm hang out…or don’t show too much derm.” She had gone to nurses’ school and used the medical word so she wouldn’t embarrass others…my sisters included.

Addendum---I’m not the smartest guy in the world, but I can hold my own weight. But my arms started to get tired when I tried to remember the name of the Asian doctor and his two assistants...Amanaki Siuhengalu…Tsetse Sithammavong. The doctor told me that the last one’s a pilot and he loves to fly.